For Christmas this year I got a KitchenAid stand mixer. Oh sure, I got other things, but this one was the best. I was confused about the big package on my side of the tree since I didn't ask for anything large. When I unwrapped it, I gasped and almost hugged the box. Finally! I can do lots of baking and cooking in my apartment like an ADULT! I can cook Alton Brown recipes! Make cupcakes! Bread! FOOD! I would be the talk of the office when I brought in delicious baked goods.
Last night I finally got the mixer up to my second floor apartment (laziness and snow prevented me from bringing it up the first night I got back). Doing so was no easy task since I'm a weakling. Carrying it out to my car when I packed it for the journey home was easy since I only had to go down three steps in the garage. "Hey, this isn't too bad" I thought. But when I pulled it out of my car to make the journey up the steps to my apartment I realized "well shit, this isn't going to be easy." I had to stop at each landing, and was thankful KitchenAid seemed to realized that people like me are going to be carry this and put cut out handles in the box. At the top of the stairs, I gasped for breath. There was a sense of accomplishment flowing through me as I celebrated my victory over the stairs. The box, however, got pushed across the floor after that.
Unpacking the mixer was an adventure unto itself. Carefully slicing the tape with my boxcutter, I opened the box and gazed on the glorious white surface of my beautiful new appliance. There was a stupid grin on my face as I lifted out the little instruction booklet and mail-in for a cooking magazine. Then, I put my hands around the head of the mixer and started to lift it out of the package.
It got stuck. The Styrofoam protection got stuck as I slid the mixer up. My genius plan was to hold one of the flaps of the box between my legs and lift the mixer again. It still got stuck, and the flap dug into my thighs through my jeans. After about 5 minutes of this, I was almost ready to just slice the box open (being tired makes you want to kill things much sooner). Luckily for the box's life, the mixer finally came loose.
I placed the mixer on the counter and admired its beauty. My parents had the sense of mind to get me the mixer where the bowl lifts up and down instead of the head of the mixer, since my cabinets are low. I didn't even know if it would fit underneath at all. It did, and I immediately sent a picture to my parents, gushing about my lovely new appliance. I then took out and looked at the two extra attachments that came with the mixer. As I put them in the bowl to keep them stored until I figured out a better place for them, my parents texted me back.
My mom asked "Did you turn it on to see if it worked?"
"Hold on. I'll do that now," I replied back. I plugged the mixer in, turned the switch to "off/reset" to get it ready, and then turned it on to the lowest speed.
Remember those attachments? Yeah, I forgot to take them out of the bowl. The whisk started spinning, got stuck on one of the attachments, and stopped. I quickly switched the mixer off, and managed to lower the bowl and get the other attachments out. When I turned the mixer on again it worked just fine, but there was a smell from it. Panicking, I texted my mom, who reassured me that the smell was just from running it for the first time, and not my dumbassery. I could just imagine her laughing her ass off at my stupidness.
It's a good thing KitchenAid stand mixers are BAMFs, because it probably wouldn't survive me otherwise.